Thanks so much for checking out my blog, I appreciate you! Drop a comment down below! I would love to know you were here and your thoughts on this post. Where are you at in your self love journey?
I know what it feels like to be depressed, to not want to be alive. I also know what it feels like to love life and be truly thankful to be alive. The turning point for me was when I started my self love journey which is what I am going to share with you today.
What is self love?
On surface level it was easy to say I loved myself but when I dug deeper I realized that my actions and my thoughts were not reflections of self love. I was in the habit of talking poorly to myself, I let others treat me poorly and when in my eating disorder I was practicing self harm on a daily basis.
Self love to me is loving myself more than anybody else, treating myself with respect, speaking nicely to myself, feeding my self healthy foods. Basically treating myself the way I would choose to be treated by others.
Self love and relationships:
I've had multiple boyfriends tell me when we were dating that they love me more than anyone else. I even had one dedicate that bad of horses song *cue music* but what does that mean after we breakup? Do they still love me more than anybody else? No, because that's my job. In the end, the only person who will always be there for me, is me! I can choose to love myself more than anybody else and that is so incredibly empowering.
I could write a list a mile long about how people have wronged me in my life but at the same time I could also write a list a mile long about how I have wronged my self. Other people will treat me as good or bad as I treat myself. Have you heard that saying: "Treat others the way you would want to be treated?" I say turn that around, treat yourself the way you want to be treated because you attract what you are. If you treat yourself with respect you will attract others who will treat you with respect. The people you surround yourself with and the people you attract say a lot about where you are in your journey right now.
The first step towards self love is to pay attention. Pay attention to the people in your life, how they treat themselves and how they treat you. Pay attention to the words you say to yourself, notice the thoughts you think when you look in the mirror.
My journey started with loving my acne. I used to have really bad acne and every time I would look in the mirror all I would see was my acne. I would constantly tell myself I was ugly. I didn't understand how anyone could like me.
At age 24 is when I had my big transformation from a pink haired party girl to a crunchy granola head. And during that phase I had given up all makeup which I thought would help my acne but with all my natural ways, I still had acne. I went through a period where I was so discouraged and disgusted that I covered up all of the mirrors for a week, I didn't want to look at myself. Then one day I looked in the mirror, saw my acne and decided that I was going to rock it. I was done wearing makeup and covering it up, I had tried all the natural remedies and nothing worked, what else could I do? My acne was apart of me and I decided to love it. Eventually my skin cleared up and I wrote about what I did to make that happen in my book, Rawspiration.
That was 3 years ago and I didn't fully understand the importance of self love until this last year. With every action and thought I choose, it's either a reflection of the love I have for myself or the dislike. This is true even with food. All the years I lived with bulimia and I would eat until I felt full and disgusting and then go vomit, that was a form of self harm, the opposite of showing myself love. Now I show love for my body by nourishing it with healthy foods, foods that I want to keep in my body.
The second step is to make a conscious decision to change your thoughts and your actions. After I started noticing all the terrible things I was saying to myself, I started to replace them, even if I didn't fully believe it in the moment, I still said it. It was like opposite day, every day. I would look into the mirror and tell myself I was beautiful and give myself a hug, which was oddly comforting. When I would notice a negative thought pop up, I would quickly squash it and replace it with a positive thought. Once I got in the habit of doing that it became quite easy to find positive things even from negative situations.
My self love blossomed when I started doing daily affirmations with my mala beads. They are 108 beads and I do one affirmation per bead. So that means a minimum of 108 times, I say something nice about myself or my life. This has been a catalyst for my self love and I highly recommend this to anyone who is looking to increase their quality of life.
Self Love Affirmations:
My words and my actions reflect the love I have for myself.
I show my self love and respect by nourishing my body with healthy foods.
Final Words From RawMama
Most of my youth and adult life I was constantly searching for someone to love me, to fill the void I had in my heart. Not realizing that the love was inside of me, waiting to be found. This last year I have been working on filling that void with my own love and my life has transformed. I feel happier (completely single) than I have ever felt before as a single person or even in a relationship.
Bottom line: I have Inner peace starts with inner love and I am the only one who can create that inner love.