Thanks so much for checking out my blog, I appreciate you! Drop a comment down below! I would love to know you were here and your thoughts on this post. Where are you at in your self love journey?
I know what it feels like to be depressed, to not want to be alive. I also know what it feels like to love life and be truly thankful to be alive. The turning point for me was when I started my self love journey which is what I am going to share with you today.
What is self love?
On surface level it was easy to say I loved myself but when I dug deeper I realized that my actions and my thoughts were not reflections of self love. I was in the habit of talking poorly to myself, I let others treat me poorly and when in my eating disorder I was practicing self harm on a daily basis.
Self love to me is loving myself more than anybody else, treating myself with respect, speaking nicely to myself, feeding my self healthy foods. Basically treating myself the way I would choose to be treated by others.
Self love and relationships:
I've had multiple boyfriends tell me when we were dating that they love me more than anyone else. I even had one dedicate that bad of horses song *cue music* but what does that mean after we breakup? Do they still love me more than anybody else? No, because that's my job. In the end, the only person who will always be there for me, is me! I can choose to love myself more than anybody else and that is so incredibly empowering.
I could write a list a mile long about how people have wronged me in my life but at the same time I could also write a list a mile long about how I have wronged my self. Other people will treat me as good or bad as I treat myself. Have you heard that saying: "Treat others the way you would want to be treated?" I say turn that around, treat yourself the way you want to be treated because you attract what you are. If you treat yourself with respect you will attract others who will treat you with respect. The people you surround yourself with and the people you attract say a lot about where you are in your journey right now.
The first step towards self love is to pay attention. Pay attention to the people in your life, how they treat themselves and how they treat you. Pay attention to the words you say to yourself, notice the thoughts you think when you look in the mirror.
My journey started with loving my acne. I used to have really bad acne and every time I would look in the mirror all I would see was my acne. I would constantly tell myself I was ugly. I didn't understand how anyone could like me.
At age 24 is when I had my big transformation from a pink haired party girl to a crunchy granola head. And during that phase I had given up all makeup which I thought would help my acne but with all my natural ways, I still had acne. I went through a period where I was so discouraged and disgusted that I covered up all of the mirrors for a week, I didn't want to look at myself. Then one day I looked in the mirror, saw my acne and decided that I was going to rock it. I was done wearing makeup and covering it up, I had tried all the natural remedies and nothing worked, what else could I do? My acne was apart of me and I decided to love it. Eventually my skin cleared up and I wrote about what I did to make that happen in my book, Rawspiration.
That was 3 years ago and I didn't fully understand the importance of self love until this last year. With every action and thought I choose, it's either a reflection of the love I have for myself or the dislike. This is true even with food. All the years I lived with bulimia and I would eat until I felt full and disgusting and then go vomit, that was a form of self harm, the opposite of showing myself love. Now I show love for my body by nourishing it with healthy foods, foods that I want to keep in my body.
The second step is to make a conscious decision to change your thoughts and your actions. After I started noticing all the terrible things I was saying to myself, I started to replace them, even if I didn't fully believe it in the moment, I still said it. It was like opposite day, every day. I would look into the mirror and tell myself I was beautiful and give myself a hug, which was oddly comforting. When I would notice a negative thought pop up, I would quickly squash it and replace it with a positive thought. Once I got in the habit of doing that it became quite easy to find positive things even from negative situations.
My self love blossomed when I started doing daily affirmations with my mala beads. They are 108 beads and I do one affirmation per bead. So that means a minimum of 108 times, I say something nice about myself or my life. This has been a catalyst for my self love and I highly recommend this to anyone who is looking to increase their quality of life.
Self Love Affirmations:
My words and my actions reflect the love I have for myself.
I show my self love and respect by nourishing my body with healthy foods.
Final Words From RawMama
Most of my youth and adult life I was constantly searching for someone to love me, to fill the void I had in my heart. Not realizing that the love was inside of me, waiting to be found. This last year I have been working on filling that void with my own love and my life has transformed. I feel happier (completely single) than I have ever felt before as a single person or even in a relationship.
Bottom line: I have Inner peace starts with inner love and I am the only one who can create that inner love.
I say former vegan because I resonate with the "plant-based" title more these days because it focuses on the abundance of fruits, veggies, nuts and seeds where the vegan diet focuses on the foods you aren't supposed to eat. I have found that my life is best when I don't make any food off limits, I prefer eating plant-based, sometimes I stray, but I always come back to plant based! I also eat raw honey occasionally which definitely rules me out as a vegan.
After living on $250 child support for almost 2 years (and a little supplemental income from my book, Rawspiration) I decided to take a break from the stressful life of trying to make a living wage off a brand new business. I have been in the food service industry for most of my working career but I didn't see myself going back and serving people the crap food I believed was the main cause for the health problems many of us are suffering from. I thought about getting other jobs that would resonate more with me but the pay wouldn't be as good and most of my income would go to paying for childcare.
After thinking for weeks about this life changing decision, I found this great restaurant about 15 minutes away that served organic food and seemed right up my alley. I would get to make the cash tips and serve more healthful food; win/win right?! I applied and talked to the owner who seemed really interested with my previous server experience. While waiting for them to reply to my resume, I looked up their yelp reviews to get a feel for what I would be getting myself into. I read one review that shattered my image of them, a customer complained about the owner getting belligerently drunk at the bar. I have worked for managers like that and I would never choose that for myself again. I was pretty bummed but I knew there is a reason for everything.
That same day, I drove by Burgermaster and saw they were hiring. I had been there a few times in the past and felt familiar with the place, always got good service and it was even closer to my house. I figured the exercise would be awesome, I would get to be outside because it was a dine in your car place and I would probably make some tips. After careful consideration, I decided to apply and I got hired on the spot! He showed me the tip reports and it turns out these carhops were making more than I would have guessed.
The day before I applied, I stuck my feet in the grass and did a money affirmation with my mala beads: "My income is constantly increasing, my cashflow is never ending and I have way more than I need." Boy, did that affirmation come true quickly! I felt like this job was meant to be.
Around this time I started learning about how powerful our thoughts were and how they play a hand in sickness along with the food we eat, our lifestyles and I am sure many other things. It never made sense to me how people could eat essentially the same food and get different diseases or no diseases at all. Our thoughts are so powerful and everyone thinks differently, so this made sense to me. Coming to this realization made it not as big of a deal to start working at a burger place, although this burger place has the freshest and highest quality foods I have seen (see reason #3!) so that was something I could get behind.
I have now been a Burgermaster employee for 3 months and here are all my favorite things about working at this restaurant:
1. Exercise: I walk anywhere from 4-7 miles in a shift and my legs love it! At first it was a big adjustment but now my body is used to it. My legs have toned up quickly and my booty is loving it too! Getting paid to exercise is a dream come true!
2. Socialization: After spending 2 years at home with my kiddo, this is what I was missing! I love talking, smiling and laughing with adults. I get to converse with hundreds of people daily, build relationships and connect with the local community. It greatly increases my quality of life. I wish I would have gotten a part time job sooner but I was afraid to leave Axel. Turns out he is perfectly fine without me for part of the day :P
3. Fresh & Fast Food: When I started working at Burgermaster I was impressed to see they make a lot of their own food! There is actually fresh produce in the walk in fridge which is rare in restaurants these days. We make fresh salads every day consisting of romaine, carrots, tomatoes and our homemade croutons made from the ends of the sourdough bread. The tartar is made in house in large batches. We have gluten free buns and lettuce wrap options. We also make our own coleslaw, banana compote for milkshakes, cinnamon sauce for the apple pie and chocolate chip cookies from scratch. The burger meet is local, hormone & antibiotic free and never frozen. All the other meat is high quality and sliced in house. If you are going to have a burger or sandwich, this is the place to do it.
4. Manager & Co-workers: This is the best ran restaurant I have ever worked for. My manger is awesome. I can tell he truly cares about this business and his staff. He clocks more hours than the rest of us and will jump in if we need help. I have seen him sweeping, taking phone orders and running trays when we get busy. I love all my co-workers and they have become like a second family to me. There is very little drama in this place and you can tell we all love working there. I feel grateful for the connections I have made at Burgermaster.
5. Money: The money is the icing on the cake. If I didn't love working here, I would leave, regardless of how great the tips are. And they are great, I am making more here than any other restaurant.
Bottom line: Burgermaster is a family owned business that treats their employees great and serves the freshest fast food around. I feel blessed and grateful to work for this amazing company.
Thanks for reading this blog post! If you would like to read more about the mind body connection I talk about in this post check out the book You are the Placebo or the documentary E-motion. I would love to hear from you in the comment section below!
Love & Light
This is my first blog post ever! Please show some love in the comment section! What are you favorite self care routines? What would you like me to write about next?
Axel’s dad, Mike, once told me “If you don’t clean up after yourself, that means someone else is.” He told me this in an attempt to help me become a cleaner living partner. That didn’t happen until I moved out of his place and into the grandma’s house when Axel was 2 months old. My Nana REALLY prefers a clean environment and it rubbed off on me. What Mike was trying to tell me didn’t fully register until about a year after living with the grandmas when I realized how much they clean up after Axel and I. Things magically get put back in their place and a lot of the time I don’t even notice that I wasn't the one to do it!
Recently it came to me that the same thing applies to our bodies! If I don’t take care of myself, someone else will. Like when I neglected my health and partied like a rockstar for years. I found myself in the doctor's office, asking them to fix my problems. Now that I take care of myself much better than ever before, I haven’t been sick in over a year! Here are my top tips to keep me healthy through mind, body, and food!
My Top Self-Care Tips:
*Meditation: I use my mala beads, saying at least 108 affirmations a day. This helps with my mental health which plays a big role in my physical health. I often use Louise L. Hay's book, Heal Your Body, it has affirmations for each body ailment from Acne to Warts! I also love her Affirmation Cards.
*Limit TV: I used to watch a lot of TV, mostly dramatic reality shows or the creepy murder mystery ones. Our mind and the pictures we see are the most powerful tool we have. Constantly filling it with visions of people dying or cheating and lying is not good for the soul. Now I opt for documentaries or watch interesting youtube videos like this one about love.
*Sleep: I aim for at least 6 hours a night. I didn't realize how important sleep was until I experienced sleep deprivation after Axel was born. Sleep is so important for healing and energy.
*Intermittent Fasting: I aim to quit eating at least 4 hours before I plan to fall asleep. I usually eat my biggest meal during the day and a lighter meal for dinner. This allows my body time to digest during my waking hours so it can fully rest/work on healing while I sleep. I notice that doing this alone clears up my acne faster than anything! Click here to learn more about intermittent fasting.
The key is not to stress out about eating perfectly. There is no "perfect" way to eat. I strive to do my best every day, sometimes my best is getting my favorite frozen vegan pizza and sometimes my best is making a gigantic beautiful salad. I figure if I eat well at least 70% of the time, my body can take care of the rest. Regardless of what else I am eating I always try to get some fruit and greens on the daily.
*Greens: I try to have at least one green smoothie, green juice or salad every day. Sometimes I get all 3, but my goal is at least one of those options. I have recipes for each in my book, Rawspiration!
*Fresh Fruits: If I don't start my day with a green smoothie or juice, I opt for fresh fruit like an apple or some melon.
The greatest lesson I have learned this last year:
When I put myself first and truly take care of myself to the best of my ability, my life is amazing, Axel is happier and everything falls perfectly into place.
Thanks for reading!
Please comment or share if anything I wrote here resonates with you!
Love & Light